This story originally appeared in the Earth First! Journal in 2014.

When the wind runs through the elders, it casts their branches out every which way and I love it. I love when autumn storms come through and take leaves with them and the leaves take off into the skies like flocks and tidings of birds.

I walk through the eldergrove unafraid, and for me that is something. I remember, when I was so young that my mother still wove leaves into my braids—I remember playing in the eldergrove and I skinned my knee and the blood came out, thick as sap, and I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t afraid because I’d tripped over my grandfather’s roots and I knew his blood was the same as mine.
Continue reading Wardens

2014 in review

Here’s my year in review. I suppose most people just do these sorts of things on facebook or something now, but I’ve been doing it on this site for quite some time: 2013, 2012, 2011, 2009, and 2008.

In 2014, my accomplishments were, by-and-large, more personal and less of the “look at what I made” variety.

  • I released my first novel, A Country of Ghosts.
  • I toured with said novel across the country.
  • My short story “Wardens” appeared in the Earth First! Journal.
  • I dealt with the worst of my mental health issues and came out the other side.
  • I completely rebuilt the interior of my van.
  • I actually moved somewhere, taking a temporary break from itinerant life.
  • I started studying martial arts again.
  • I wrote a lot, though I haven’t finished anything but short fiction and articles.
  • I saw buffalo, a grizzly bear, and geysers for the first time. (Animals in animal-jail don’t count.)

Van Life: Green Remodeling: Demolition and Underlayment

In this series I’m documenting the remodeling of my 2003 Dodge Ram 1500 Conversion Van from a family travel model to an RV. Work was done in the spring of 2014 and written about 6 months later, so my memory is fuzzy.


Starting from right behind the driver’s compartment, I ripped out almost everything from my van, down to the bare steel floors and walls. The exceptions were the foam on the floor, the rear air-conditioning, and two of the rear speakers.
Continue reading Van Life: Green Remodeling: Demolition and Underlayment

DGAF: four simple letters to help you be more productive

Everything You Know About Creativity Is Wrong.

I get asked somewhat regularly how I manage my output of creative works, including zines, novels, magazines, albums, comics, photo books, jewelry, tintypes, and stuff no one knows was me so I’m not telling. What’s my secret?

Four letters. DGAF.

Don’t Give A Fuck.

Don’t give yourself deadlines. Don’t push yourself. Don’t be goal-oriented. Don’t cater to or research your audience. Don’t give a fuck. One day we’ll all be dead.
Continue reading DGAF: four simple letters to help you be more productive

one-inch button template for indesign

Awhile back I made an indesign template for designing one-inch buttons. I’m not sure why I never posted it before now. (I’d guess “sloth” as the most likely answer.)

I’ve uploaded the .indd file for InDesign CS6 and the .idml file for InDesign CS4 and later. 35 buttons fit on each page. The outer black circle is the only printing guide, and it shows you where to cut. The green margin is the safe bleed margin. The pink margin indicates the actual edge of the front of the button, while the blue box within that is the safe margin for text and important elements on the button. When you print, make sure you set it to print at 100% size, rather than “shrink to fit.”
Continue reading one-inch button template for indesign

Glacier National Park, 2014

I’m afraid there isn’t much “essay” to this photo essay. This summer I went halfway across the country with some photo-shy punks.

I used to hate the National Park system. It tokenizes nature… it lets the federal government say “look, we have nature!” while gutting the rest of public lands. It still does those things and I still hate it for that. But there’s no denying the beauty of these places, and I appreciate the work that they put into making such beauty accessible to people while (usually) attempting to minimize the impact humans have on the area. Hell, if they weren’t in the process of destroying the rest of the undeveloped areas of the country, I could even applaud them for getting humans into specific chosen pretty areas so that the rest of the areas are left alone.

Of course, that’s not what’s happening.

But Glacier is beautiful, even if its namesake glaciers are almost gone. See them while there are any left to see, I suppose.
Continue reading Glacier National Park, 2014

Anarcho-Geek Review: The Oregon Experiment, by Keith Scribner

The Oregon Experiment, Keith Scribner

The Anarcho-Geek Review is a new project that reviews pop culture media from an anarchist perspective as well as media created by or representing anarchists.

The Oregon Experiment
by Keith Scribner
2011, Knopf
Review by Margaret Killjoy

Recommended? Sure, why not.

I’m going to cut this review into two parts. The first part, the shorter part, is just my “why you might like to read this book, why you might not.” The second part is a longer analysis of the ways in which mainstream sympathetic fiction is portraying anarchists.

So, The Oregon Experiment, by Keith Scribner. Scanlon and Naomi are a middle class couple that moves to small town Oregon, and soon their American dream crashes into the rocks of anarchists, secessionist hippies, and the repression thereof. Scanlon is an academic who studies radical social movements, Naomi is a depressed “nose” who was forced to retire from the perfume business when her mental health destroyed her ability to smell. Scanlon gets mixed up with Sequoia, a sexy hippie mama who wants to peacefully secede from the US, while Naomi spends too much time a Clay, a depressed, angsty anarchist who hates everything. Hijinks ensue.

It’s a short, entertaining novel with interesting enough characters. I read it, I enjoyed reading it, and it left me awake thinking after I’d put the book down for the night. While the plot focuses on the gulf between academia and radical action, the themes of the book are much more about parenting and relationships, which I appreciated quite a bit. I appreciated the often-realistic and incredibly flawed characters, though the intensity of male desire directed at mothers—on the basis of them being mothers—is kind of intense. Overall, the book made me nostalgic for early-aughts Oregon.

But frankly, I read the book because I care about the ways that anarchists are represented, and I was curious to see how we came across. I probably wouldn’t have given up on the book without that motivation behind my reading, but I probably wouldn’t have bothered to pick it up in the first place either.

I admit I took a weird sort of glee in studying the book. There I was, an anarchist author who researches the ways in which literature represents us, studying a book about an academic whose field of research is radical social movements. And of course, the book itself was written by an academic who researched radical social movements (perhaps getting tangentially involved just as our Scanlon did? I can only guess.).

So how did he represent us? Hereafter in this review I discuss spoilers.
Continue reading Anarcho-Geek Review: The Oregon Experiment, by Keith Scribner

Van Life: Weather

In this series, I explore some of the practicalities of living in a van in the United States. For context, I am relatively privileged: white, perceived as male, raised middle class, able-bodied, in good physical shape. My advice may or may not be useful for others in my or similar situations.

I’m one of those stupid travelers who rarely takes seasons into consideration when I travel, so I find myself up north in the winter and in the southeast in the summer with an alarming regularity. Yes, it can get really hot or really cold in my van. It’s rarely unbearable, however.


The single most important thing I’ve done for my van is put in thick, multi-layered, light-proof curtains. All the back windows are covered with curtains made out of blackout fabric sewn between two layers of thick, black felt. These are screwed into the wood and/or plastic sills above the windows, and part in the middle so I can tie them back. I’ve got another curtain that goes from ceiling to floor right outside my bed, blocking light and visibility as well as keeping the bed area well-insulated. I bought all the fabric new, and probably spent a bit more than $100 on all of it. One of the best investments I’ve made.


I rarely sleep with my windows open, because I don’t want anyone able to break into my car as easily as that, and because it seems (to me) to make it more obvious that someone is sleeping inside. I do have three small vent windows that open a crack, which help, but honestly not much. What I’ve learned is to master parking in the will-be-shady-in-the-morning, put the sun shield on the windshield, then pull my curtains tight. The sun and heat will rarely force me out of bed before, I don’t know, 10am. By midday, however, the van is essentially unbearable. I keep a clip-on fan, with a separate battery pack, hanging above the bed, and this gets me through the worst nights or the worst naps. In the future, I think I’ll just get another fan. Some people put second AC units in their vehicle that run off of a battery, but unless I move to the desert or something I doubt this is really necessary.

I do wish I had windows that slid open, and if I did, I’d get screens—keeping out bugs is obviously pretty important in the summer.

If you’re somewhere where it might be socially acceptable to do so, it’s also possible to idle the engine and run the car’s AC to sleep. I would never recommend making this a habit, and I’ve only done it once, myself, when it was 100+ degrees out and I need to sleep during the day, but it appears that it only burns about 1/4 a gallon per hour to do so. Anyone who would give you shit for it might want to realize that if they ever drive 5 miles just because they want to go pick something up, they’ve burned more gas than your hour-long nap.


If the curse of summer van life is that it’s hard to sleep in, the curse of winter van life is that it’s hard to get up. The answer to winter sleeping is honestly pretty simple: close your curtains, put an extra blanket down on the bed (an amazing amount of cold comes in through the bed platform and futon mattress), then get inside a sleeping bag or two, pull a blanket up over your head, and wait uncomfortably during the few minutes it takes to warm up.

Then, in the morning, you’re all cozy and warm and look over and see your frozen water jug and think to yourself, “damn, maybe I’ll just stay in this sleeping bag and read a book.”

When All Else Fails

Or, you can do what most travelers secretly do in extreme weather: take their friends up on offers of floor space and/or couches.

Other Van Life posts

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